Pregnancy loss is a sensitive subject that requires careful consideration. The devastation of pregnancy loss not only affects you physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The mental aspects of pregnancy loss may involve confusion, guilt and doubt. Emotionally you may experience sadness, anger and grief. Spiritually you may blame God for your loss. Putting these thoughts and emotions into perspective will allow you to move beyond your current state to a place of acceptance, peace and hope.
The first step involves being honest about your thoughts and feelings. No matter how difficult it may be, allow yourself to experience the thoughts and feelings and don't place judgment on yourself because them. You can't begin to process these thoughts and emotions if you are not honest about what you are experiencing. Secondly, allow yourself to grieve. Allowing yourself to grieve on your terms is essential to navigating through the process to a place of healing. Chances are you will be faced with individuals that will not understand your loss and expect you to "be yourself". The truth is, you are being yourself and you are choosing to deal with your loss on your terms, not theirs. Thirdly, remember the relationship you had with God prior to the loss. If you loved God and recognized Him as Sovereign prior to your loss, He is still the same God. If you had no relationship with God prior to your loss, establishing a relationship with Him and building upon that will help you on your path to healing. Building upon your relationship may involve prayer, reading the Bible and attending worship services. Finally, get support from someone you trust. When building your support network, utilize individuals that (1) will be sensitive to your loss; (2) won't judge you for how you feel; (3) will encourage you when needed; and (4) will have a positive impact to your mental, emotional and spiritual growth.
Pregnancy loss may be devastating, however, healing is possible. Remember, healing is a process and does not happen overnight. Allow yourself the necessary time to work through the process so that you will arrive at a place of acceptance regarding the loss; mental, emotional and spiritual peace; and hope for the future.
Naquisha Howard-Stubbs, MA, LPC
I am a a Licensed Psychotherapist specializing in helping individuals live emotionally, mentally and spiritually fulfilling lives.